“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?
My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, but I find no rest.”
~ Psalm 22:1-2
Is there anything much worse than God’s apparent silence when your heart is breaking,
or terrified, or wounded and betrayed ?
Where is He, the One who promised to never leave your side, when life is spinning out of control, and your heart is pounding in your mouth,
and your mind is screaming with what-if’s ?
Have you ever prayed until you had absolutely nothing left…and then, still…only silence?
I give up!
I’ve been here. This is where David was when he wrote the words of this psalm.
Maybe you’ve been here too?
I’m so thankful David was honest about his struggles!
What a relief it was to read his words one morning, and know that I wasn’t the only one that had ever felt this way and had cried out to God with these same scary, bold questions.
And David, a man after God’s own heart!
So I sat. I cried. I said the word out loud.
Maybe just to break the silence.
Have you ever had a eureka! moment ?
Ohhhhhh. Now I get it!
Sheesh. Some of us (me!) are slow learners.
After months of lament and frustration and doubt and tears, it dawned on me.
God had not been silent at all.
His answer, everyday ?
All those dark days, I had misread His beautiful mercy for terrible silence.
Yet He had walked me through each day pouring out an unfathomable amount of grace.
On me. On my loved one. Over my brokenness. On my home and on my family.
And I had completely missed it.
Have you ever completely missed it with God on something?
OUCH! Big ouch!
But again, the Word reminds us we aren’t the first. Phew!
Our family, His people, have been “missing it” for a very long time. Imagine how fervent and sincere the prayers were for the Messiah to come! So long… hoping, watching, and waiting. Yet many totally missed it because He didn’t come in the way they had expected Him to.
I missed the way He came to me too. Completely.
But in the missing it, I have gleaned a treasure.
“The Lord is near. Be not anxious about anything.”
God is not far or deaf to your cries.
“Call to me and I will answer you…”
Prayers aren’t always answered in the way you’d expect.
So, at the point of giving up…look up.
Don’t just say it…Shout mercy!
Open your eyes to see.
Maybe you’ll begin to notice the grace you’ve had to get up and face each day,
or a new friendship, or a beautiful flower that has sprung up in your yard,
or even the kindness of a stranger…His answer and Presence in an unexpected way.
Don’t miss it!!
The Lord has comforted me so tenderly with this revelation. In some way, somehow,
may these words help you see… and hope again. Apologies for this lengthy post. 🙂
May the Lord bless and keep you~
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles,
we can comfort those in any trouble with the
comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
And just in case anybody has read this far, I also wanted to share this song, “Mercy”, by Amanda Cook. 🙂 So good!